Artists You Should Know

I'm a big fan of alternative music. Lot of people don't like it. Whatever. But here's a few good artists you should know. How good? They may be the next songbirds of our generation. THAT GOOD.

                                           Monsters Calling Home - Mr. Brightside (Cover)

The Maccabees - Went Away

The Lumineers - Ho Hey (Pretty well heard now, been on the radio for a few months but still very good).

South Campus Bookstore Windows

Quick question. Is there anybody that goes to this school and doesn't check themselves out in the window-mirror hybrid thing, aka the South Campus bookstore windows outside of Weed Hall, every time they walk by? Seriously though. I do it. Hell yeah I do it. Don't want to walk into class looking like shit. So of course I take a subtle look over at myself to make sure the combover is still tight (aka my hair doesn't look like a fucking brillo pad since that is inevitably how my short hair always looks SMH). If you have been on South Campus at least once in your life, you are flat out lying if you say you've never once given yourself a quick look in these windows.

PS: Erin Andrews is out at ESPN

UMass Lowell Password Expiration

This is easily one of UMass Lowell's brightest ideas. I mean I can't even tell you how many times my email and ISIS would probably get hacked if I wasn't changing my password every six months. Think of how frustrating that would be. Like you go to check your email but everything that you haven't read is no longer marked as unread because some damn hacker got onto your email and read them all. I don't know how I'd function if I wasn't reading UML announcements daily at 12:02. If you think getting your email hacked is bad, ISIS getting hacked is twenty times worse. I mean imagine the embarrassment of someone getting onto your ISIS and viewing your class schedule! Or being able to see the holds on your account! (if you don't have at least one hold then you're doing something wrong.)   Thankfully, nobody really knows what to click or how to navigate the system in order to view your grades and GPA, so no hacker will be able to view that. But seriously, thank God for the biannual "UMass Lowell Expiration Password" email to remind me to change my password. Without it, I would definitely forget to make the change and I'm pretty sure I'd have been a victim of identity theft about a year ago.

PS: I'm pretty sure if you forget to change it within the six month timeframe, you lose US citizenship.

Disney Channel Original Movie: Double Teamed

The last Friday of every month at 8/7 Central, a new Disney Channel Original Movie premiered. Holy Mackerel these movies sucked so good. Actually let me rephrase that. Between 1997 and 2001, the movies were actually good. Brink! (obviously), Halloweentown, Zenon, Horse Sense, Johnny Tsunami, Smart House (get it together PAT!!), and The Ultimate Christmas Present (Brenda Song's coming out party) all came out in this timeframe. Then came January 2002 and Disney Channel released "Double-Teamed." As you can clearly tell from the photo above, these girls look NOTHING alike. But for some reason literally everybody in the movie got these two mixed up. Like I'm pretty sure their parents at one point were like "Hey Heather, wait Heidi, no I mean Heather, wait who are you again?" Can you say unfuckingrealistic? I mean even that girl pretending she was a guy in Motocrossed and everyone believing it was more realistic than that. Another unrealistic thing about this movie was the basketball coach. Fast forward to 4:36:

                         

Telling girls to tackle each other. Letting them know they're in a gym and not at a museum. Informing them of their status as human beings and not statues. Absolutely brilliant. Lebron James would easily have 9 rings right now if this were his coach. Leave it to a Disney Channel Original Movie trying to convince me that this guy coached a high school girl's basketball team. Uhhh hello, this guy is an NBA and Olympic caliber coach. What is he doing coaching a high school's girls team? Disney Channel Original movies, always so unrealistic.

PS: Check out the girl coach shimmying at 4:40.

The Heat

                                              

So it's been brutally hot out the past two days, which only means two things A.) Everyone flocks to the shores of shitty Hampton Beach and B.) 10, 581 different people post statuses/tweets/Instagrams about how hot it is. "Can't believe I have to work outside in this heat!" "OMG it's so hot out #nursingmajorproblems!" (apparently applies to all situations). But you know what pisses me off more than the people who post statuses about the heat? The people who post statuses about people posting statuses about the heat (what?).  Example:

Freddy Frederick posts: "Ewww I'm already sweating and I only just walked out to my car in the driveway! #ephthis."

Mike Jonez posts: Yo f the heat son

Beebee Bluff (I miss the shit out of Doug) posts: So hot out today!

And then you got wiseass Jimmy John posting:

HEY FACEBOOK THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW IT'S HOT OUT I COULDN'T FIND THAT OUT MYSELF. SHUT UP ABOUT THE HEAT.

I mean there's no question Freddy, Mike, and Beebee are being a tad (and by a tad I mean very) annoying. But people like Jimmy are flat out obnoxious. Like it's blatantly obvious that Jimmy is fishing for "likes." He's definitely the type of person that posts a status and refreshes the page every 2.5 seconds waiting to see if he's gotten any more likes. So yeah, people that post the obvious are annoying, but at least you can tell they're not just fishing for likes. Because if they were, they would post something original (or what they think is original). Unfortunately for Jimmy, his wiseass comment has been done billions of times before and I think it's hilarious that someone thinks they're being funny with this type of status (wait, if I think it's hilarious then it is funny and thus Jimmy is being funny and now I'm confusing myself...) Moral of the story: Jimmy, shut the fuck up. 

PS: AMEN Freddy, eph this. 

PPS: Don't stare at that sun picture for a long time. I literally think I just went blind.

Swag

Sniped this pic while in CVS Methuen the other day (trust me, it's a SICK hangout spot). Nice style, bro. Swagger unmatched.

PS: Sorry for the awkward camera angle/shot of my crotch. Needed to aim low so I didn't get the guy's face in the pic.
PPS: I went looking for Multivitamins in the store shortly after this. Nowhere to be found. Hey CVS, you're a pharmacy. Start acting like it.

Hollister/Abercrombie

Having a fresh Hollister/Abercrombie polo and/or hoodie back in seventh or eighth grade was about as essential as having one of these in the first and second grade. When one of your bros called you up to go to the mall on a Friday night, you knew you had to be looking your best. After all, there was a 50% chance your crush would be there (either there or the movies, the only two "hangout" places back then). And looking your best meant rockin' the K-Swiss sneaks (where are they now?), baggy jeans (with a rip or two), and the Hollister/Abercrombie polo (God forbid you wore a polo without the little moose logo embedded on the right chest). Give yourself a spray (or twenty) of FIERCE and you were good to go. We all went through the Abercrombie/Hollister phase (some are still stuck in it...), but thinking back on it, the clothes were flat-out uncomfortable and overly expensive. Hollister was a little cheaper (and more comfortable IMO), but you could not find an Abercrombie hoodie for less than $80 and they were outrageously bulky/stiffer than the competition in this game. But you looked cool and the girls loved it, so you wore it anyway. Seriously though, in retrospect, it's ridiculous that it costs $80+ to support the HCO Surf Team. God I remember thinking I was the shit when I (my mom) bought my first Abercrombie hoodie. Thing weighed more than me, but I looked GOOD. Pretty sure I changed my AIM screen-name to AandFitchkid1892 after that (no lie I really did).


 PS: If you wore Aeropostale you were a square (what does that even mean?)