Friday, June 29, 2012
South Campus Bookstore Windows
Quick question. Is there anybody that goes to this school and doesn't check themselves out in the window-mirror hybrid thing, aka the South Campus bookstore windows outside of Weed Hall, every time they walk by? Seriously though. I do it. Hell yeah I do it. Don't want to walk into class looking like shit. So of course I take a subtle look over at myself to make sure the combover is still tight (aka my hair doesn't look like a fucking brillo pad since that is inevitably how my short hair always looks SMH). If you have been on South Campus at least once in your life, you are flat out lying if you say you've never once given yourself a quick look in these windows.
PS: Erin Andrews is out at ESPN
Monday, June 25, 2012
UMass Lowell Password Expiration
This is easily one of UMass Lowell's brightest ideas. I mean I can't even tell you how many times my email and ISIS would probably get hacked if I wasn't changing my password every six months. Think of how frustrating that would be. Like you go to check your email but everything that you haven't read is no longer marked as unread because some damn hacker got onto your email and read them all. I don't know how I'd function if I wasn't reading UML announcements daily at 12:02. If you think getting your email hacked is bad, ISIS getting hacked is twenty times worse. I mean imagine the embarrassment of someone getting onto your ISIS and viewing your class schedule! Or being able to see the holds on your account! (if you don't have at least one hold then you're doing something wrong.) Thankfully, nobody really knows what to click or how to navigate the system in order to view your grades and GPA, so no hacker will be able to view that. But seriously, thank God for the biannual "UMass Lowell Expiration Password" email to remind me to change my password. Without it, I would definitely forget to make the change and I'm pretty sure I'd have been a victim of identity theft about a year ago.
PS: I'm pretty sure if you forget to change it within the six month timeframe, you lose US citizenship.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Disney Channel Original Movie: Double Teamed

Telling girls to tackle each other. Letting them know they're in a gym and not at a museum. Informing them of their status as human beings and not statues. Absolutely brilliant. Lebron James would easily have 9 rings right now if this were his coach. Leave it to a Disney Channel Original Movie trying to convince me that this guy coached a high school girl's basketball team. Uhhh hello, this guy is an NBA and Olympic caliber coach. What is he doing coaching a high school's girls team? Disney Channel Original movies, always so unrealistic.
PS: Check out the girl coach shimmying at 4:40.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
The Heat
Freddy Frederick posts: "Ewww I'm already sweating and I only just walked out to my car in the driveway! #ephthis."
Mike Jonez posts: Yo f the heat son
Beebee Bluff (I miss the shit out of Doug) posts: So hot out today!
And then you got wiseass Jimmy John posting:
HEY FACEBOOK THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW IT'S HOT OUT I COULDN'T FIND THAT OUT MYSELF. SHUT UP ABOUT THE HEAT.
I mean there's no question Freddy, Mike, and Beebee are being a tad (and by a tad I mean very) annoying. But people like Jimmy are flat out obnoxious. Like it's blatantly obvious that Jimmy is fishing for "likes." He's definitely the type of person that posts a status and refreshes the page every 2.5 seconds waiting to see if he's gotten any more likes. So yeah, people that post the obvious are annoying, but at least you can tell they're not just fishing for likes. Because if they were, they would post something original (or what they think is original). Unfortunately for Jimmy, his wiseass comment has been done billions of times before and I think it's hilarious that someone thinks they're being funny with this type of status (wait, if I think it's hilarious then it is funny and thus Jimmy is being funny and now I'm confusing myself...) Moral of the story: Jimmy, shut the fuck up.
PS: AMEN Freddy, eph this.
PPS: Don't stare at that sun picture for a long time. I literally think I just went blind.
Swag
Sniped this pic while in CVS Methuen the other day (trust me, it's a SICK hangout spot). Nice style, bro. Swagger unmatched.
PS: Sorry for the awkward camera angle/shot of my crotch. Needed to aim low so I didn't get the guy's face in the pic.
PPS: I went looking for Multivitamins in the store shortly after this. Nowhere to be found. Hey CVS, you're a pharmacy. Start acting like it.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Hollister/Abercrombie

PS: If you wore Aeropostale you were a square (what does that even mean?)
Good Ol' Lydon
PS: Girls. Drinking wine does not make you classy.
I Go To UMass Lowell

PS: I hate how in every movie all the characters go to elite schools. Like in "The Last Song" with Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus (I swear I wasn't watching it, I was just waiting for Secret Life to come on...). Liam Hemsworth's character just nonchalantly says "Yeah, I'm thinking about transferring from Vanderbilt to Columbia." Uhh bro, you don't just like throw in an app to Columbia and transfer. They accept like less than 1% of transfer applicants. But then again, it's fucking Liam Hemsworth we're talking here. His brother is Thor.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Mila Kunis

PS: You know a movie sucks when you can watch the entire thing on youtube.
North Campus Parking Lot Entrance
PS: The bro driving that white truck obviously used a shrink-ray. No other way he would have made it through that crevice.
What Grinds My Gears: No Chocolate Milk in the Machine

PS: Aramark does not put laxatives in their food. If you're dumb enough to believe that, I'm appalled you were accepted to this school, and that's saying something.
Wal-Mart...Steaks?
So I was just sitting in my room watching the Bachelorette flipping through channels and this gem of a commercial comes on. Wal-Mart steaks. Like it's one thing that Wal-Mart actually sells steaks nevermind advertises them. You would think they'd throw in the towel and just accept the fact that their steaks suck and not waste the time/energy/money to make a commercial advertising them. Serious question though: Who goes to Wal-Mart and buys groceries of any kind? Like just head to the nearest Market Basket, where the variety is twice as good and you will pay the exact same price. Not to mention I think every time I've been in the food aisle at Wal-Mart something has been opened and there's like saliva and fingerprints all over the package. Yeah, thanks anyway Wal-Mart I'll act like a normal human being and buy my groceries at the grocery store.
PS: Whatever happened to the Smiley Face "Always Low Prices" Wal-Mart slogan/logo? Much better than that "Save Money. Live Better" and asterik shit.
PS: Whatever happened to the Smiley Face "Always Low Prices" Wal-Mart slogan/logo? Much better than that "Save Money. Live Better" and asterik shit.
Welcome to UMass Browell
Before I get started on my daily chores (they come in the form of homework, work, catching a bit of the Bonnie Hunt Show (what?)), I like to log into any and all social media sites. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Instakilogram, etc. I also like to check blogs like Barstool to get in a good laugh before the daily grind. Once I've done enough creeping to the point where I start questioning my morals, reality sets in and I realize it's time to get to work. I always think, "I wish there is one more blog or social media site that I can utilize to prolong my procrastination." Ladies and gentlemen of UMass Lowell, here is that blog. Welcome to UMass Browell, motivating students to procrastinate since 2012.
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